How I Found My Backgammon Sensei

By Emmaly Wiederholt

It was one of those brutally cold days in San Francisco. I know what you’re thinking, all of you who don’t live in San Francisco. It’s California; how cold can it get? But those of you who know this city well know that 40 degrees has a way of worming under your skin and everything everywhere is frigid and damp.

Well it was one of those days. So naturally my roommate and dear friend Malinda and I decided to make Kahlua coffees and go sit in the park. We bundled up, grabbed blankets and food, and headed toward our favorite spot, a meadow behind the rose garden.

Malinda had just started seeing her boyfriend Jake at the time. And you know how new couples are. They’ll go to great lengths to be together. Really great lengths. Like going and sitting in the park on a frigidly cold day with just a t shirt and a green zip up hoodie on. Yup, Jake came and sat with us dressed like it was 65.

Jake, who sat there shivering, did something that day that changed the course of this essay. I like to think it might have even changed the course of history, but I’ll err on the side of humility. Anyway, you’ve probably already guessed what he did. It’s obvious right? A dude wants to go hang out with his new girl and try to be on good terms with his girl’s best friend. What would you do? Duh! You’d bring a Backgammon board!

Backgammon was something I loosely associated with the back of my grandparent’s board game cupboard. What was this old-school briefcase containing ancient runes and poker chips?

“Th-th-th-is is h-h-h-how y-y-you p-p-p-play,” stammered the freezing Jake. It was Malinda and I versus Jake. Jake, who, legend has it, beat a dragon blindfolded and upside down at Backgammon. Yes, that very same Jake.

"Th-th-there are th-th-three rules. 1) T-t-talk shit. 2) Use y-y-your willpower.” I honestly don’t remember Jake’s third rule. But with these foreboding words the game commenced.

Well we beat him. And I like to think our natural good looks and wit had everything to do with it, but it could have equally been Jake’s frostbite. But more important than beating Jake (I know, what on earth could possibly be more important than beating Jake?!?!) was that I wanted to play again!

I loved the simple logic and beautiful complexity of the game. It was like a full-bodied wine (hey, I live in wine country, what kind of simile did you expect?). Notes of vanilla! Delicately balanced tannins! Okay, maybe this simile doesn’t work so well after all, but you get the point. I was hooked.

And Jake became my sensei. I know, this story doesn’t do much for Jake’s public image. He’s dumb enough to come sit in subzero temperatures dressed like it’s California or something, and then two noobz beat him on their first try. But it was more than that. It was obvious that Jake didn’t see the object of the game as winning. He saw it more as an exercise in living.

You know the rest of the story. I went on to become an internationally acclaimed Backgammon superstar. I’ve played in the halftime super bowl show. I’ve played at Obama’s inauguration. But my stardom isn’t the moral of the story. The moral is: pick your sensei wisely. He may catapult you to fame and fortune but he may also break your sink and flood your bathroom.

January 10, 2013: Gentlepeople: A Eugene Club Match

I am myself a sophisticated opponent in BACKGAMMON (as I consider myself a sophisticated opponent of life in general), and I approached the twelfth game with an insouciance that anyone would have recognized as typical, typical not only of me but of backgammon genius understood in its most catholic sense.

Annissa and I were eleven games deep in a nine-point match. Unsurprisingly, I led 7-4. (The doubling die lay almost mossy in disuse: I lacked the necessity, and my opposite lacked the womanly courage, of offering that princely cube!) It was 2:00AM.

Her hands shook, perhaps with fear, perhaps as a result of her diligence to the rest-caffeine formula

(hours of sleep)+(cups of coffee)=8,

the augend equaling two, the addend therefore, most inexorably, six. Annissa grabbed for the die and missed. Enraged, she missed again. I was frustrated, as my own coordination is beyond reproach (for my part, the die already rested comfortably in my hand, because I had picked it up on my very first try). The only liquid that I accept during a match is heated water. The acceptable temperature range is 180 degrees to 185 degrees. I furnish my own thermometer, unwilling to be deceived in this matter by an adversary of base character, and I would not rank Annissa above this level. Now, I admit, I drink this water in prodigious quantity, and must frequently excuse myself from the game, but I strive to do so graciously.

As I watched this pitiable spectacle, I danced my intellect across the game's possibilities. Should I simply win? No. I decided to BACKGAMMON Annissa.

Having used the sinister hand as a mere scoop or claw (the so-called alien hand), she finally managed to hoist the die. We could begin the twelfth game. It was 2:25AM.

Annissa rolled a three. I rolled a four. Oh, how I regarded my move! The clock passed 3:00AM, then 4:00AM. My posture was perfect, as were my contemplations. At 4:45AM, I decided on 24/20, 13/10, and in sublime fulfillment of my aim, I proceeded to win a BACKGAMMON and to win the match.

I hope that this record helps you, the reader, improve your play,

Cordially,

Andrew Hampton

Welcome

Gather around the backgammon hearth,
stretch out on the rug, relax
in the crackle of the fire and the roll of the dice.

Listen to the tales from the old times,
sing the songs of pips and blots,
learn their names and their tricks.

Marvel at the most impossible games,
bring your board for show and tell,
nomm a gammon with your friends and enemies,
then visit the bar.

Look, Winning and Strategy are sharing a table with Ungammon and Freegammon,
drinking Foreman's Coffee, munching triangle cookies and sugar cubes.
The Backgammon Hearth, a warm place for study and play.

^^^^^^

This poem was written by Vivian McKenzie and first published in the Anaconda Standard in november of 1911. Several people in the town met to play backgammon and share food to pass the time during the long winters.
-Kurt Collins

Full Moon Articles, Saturday the 26th

The moon will be full this Saturday, January 26th. It will be 11:39 P.M. in Colombia and in the EST zone.  In the Pacific Time zone, I'm assuming it will be full at 8:39.

Check back at the minute of the fullest moon for "This Moon's Match" A Eugene Gentlepeople missive, "Backgammon Sensei" from Emmaly of "Stance on Dance", and maybe a bonus article.